Dear Reader, 

I write this letter as a result of a lot of personal reflection and in response to the heartbreaking stories of abuse that have emerged from my former call at Covenant Fellowship Church (CFC). Most of what I’m writing will be familiar to my current church family, The Redemption Church (TRC), since I have tried my best to be transparent with them. My decision to release a public letter is rooted in recognizing my responsibility as a former CFC pastor to offer a clear, accountable, and loving pastoral word beyond the walls of my church. More importantly, I want to offer a humble apology to those who were wounded under my leadership and the system that I was a part of and benefitted from.

I served as an assistant pastor at CFC from 1999-2010. The impetus for my abrupt departure from CFC was when my wife Janet and I discovered the senior pastor’s past sexual sin against a church member. My wife’s bold confrontation and pleading for his confession is documented here. I, on the other hand, left CFC in a state of deep internal conflict. I knew leaving CFC was the right thing to do but I also felt a strong sense of loyalty to Pastor Min Chung, whom I considered a father figure and an anointed servant of God. 

After planting TRC in 2010, I continued to be heavily involved with CFC and CFC-affiliated events. The reason for the continued partnership was an identity issue. I had come to depend on my ministry identity—specifically my “CFC identity”—for my significance, belonging, and a sense of self. To be frank, I did not know who I was apart from the validation I received as a CFC pastor. It was not until 2018 that I made an official break from all CFC and CFC-related ministries.

I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize and to take ownership of the part I played in propping up and propagating an unhealthy church culture:

1. I apologize to those who have been hurt as a result of my actions and/or my complicity to an abusive culture. I am sorry that I did not protect you, that institutional preservation often trumped individual care. You are precious and I failed you.
2. I apologize for holding up a two-tiered type of Christianity, where pastors were elevated above lay people. I am so sorry I thought I was special because I was a pastor. I am sorry for my sense of entitlement.
3. I apologize for not standing up to what I now see as a misogynistic culture. 
4. I apologize for judging critical thinkers and deflecting my intellectual insecurity and buying into the trope that such people were “proud and rebellious.” If I spoke to you in an uncaring, condescending manner, I am sincerely sorry. 
5. I apologize for binding people’s conscience (e.g. social drinking, dating, etc.) and holding up an anemic view of Christian liberty. I know that this was hurtful to many. For leaders, how awful it must have been for some of you to miss your closest friends’ weddings or special family occasions because you were obligated and guilted into not missing church events. As if loving your friends was not also a valuable ministry.
6. I apologize for my proud elitism rather than going to the “least of these.” I see now that prophetic voices often come from the margins.
7. I apologize for my aloofness, caring more about my professional reputation rather than transparently sharing my struggles and walking in community with you. Relatedly, I am sorry for the times I was pretentious and performative and for too often being driven by fear rather than love and grace.
8. I apologize for the times that I communicated a message of sanctification that leads to justification rather than a justification that blooms into beautiful sanctification. This led to much graceless striving and laying a heavy burden on people (Matthew 23:4), pushing them to “do better” rather than inviting weak sinners into His arms (Matthew 11:28).
9. I apologize for my cowardice. I am sorry that I did not call out pride and sin within leadership because I was scared of being humiliated, because I didn’t want to fall out of orbit, outside the inner ring. I cringe at remaining quiet when some of you were mistreated and bullied.

It has been a difficult journey for all of us involved and will likely continue to be so for many. As I reflect on my own involvement, I continue to struggle—both with my role as a reluctant whistleblower, who timidly spoke up about this only four years ago, and as a recovering ministry idolater, who for years protected myself and CFC. But with age came some wisdom, my conscience has grown stronger and more tender, I have been receiving professional counseling for past neglected wounds, and with the help of a supportive wife and friends, these issues were brought into the Light. (1 John 1:7) 

Being cut off from a world I called “home” for over two decades initially felt like psychological violence. However, I realize it was a necessary step in forming a new ecclesial and personal vision. As a result, I’d like to share a few steps that I am actively taking in the hope that it might be an encouragement. They are: expanding my network by building relationships with ministers and ministries who are doing good work in combatting abusive cultures, receiving professional counseling through a reputable trauma counselor (in process), the addition of staff around me that can offer different perspectives, forming a session and a diaconate, offering training to our congregation to deal with abuse in the body of Christ. 

To the survivors and victims of an abusive culture, your experience or pain and harm are real. I believe you and I desire to support you. Thank you for your courage and vulnerability in sharing your deep pain and trauma with us. I am so sorry for the role I played in your pain. You deserved and deserve better.

Finally, if any of you have been hurt by me and would like to talk, please feel free to contact me (DM at https://www.instagram.com/redemptionjp) so I can apologize to you personally.

Humbly, 

Jong Park